So, I'm working at the adult reference desk when two young fellas (around 12 or so) come up to the desk and politely ask if they can use a sharpie marker. Thinking of the graffiti issues we've had in the restrooms, I said yes, but only if you use it right here. They settle down in the comfy chair located immediately to my right and start emptying out a bag. I try and ignore them a little, because I want to give them some semblence of privacy. However, it's obvious that they want to write on the bag that the smaller boy is carrying. I'm fine with that until I realize that they want to pretty much completely black out/decorate the entire cloth bag. WTF. I interrupt them and say that I'm sorry, but I thought they were just going to use the pen to write their name on something and that if they were going to color in the whole blocked off area, I would need the pen back and they would have to get their own sharpie. The older boy pulls out four quarters and says, "Okay, we'll buy yours" and continues coloring.  No, no, no. This won't do. I eventually actually have to take the sharpie out of his hand, put his money back in his hand and tell him to go buy his own sharpie because ours is off limits. It was about 5 minutes before shift change, so I let the next librarian know what was up in case they tried it again with her.

Hello, fellow librarians! I have been lurking for a bit, and I thought I would give vent to this patron mofo encounter I just had, barely minutes ago! Background: academic library; provided we get two copies, when we receive theses and dissertations, one copy goes to the Stacks, and one copy goes into Special Collections. They are routinely shelved in the LD3091's. This is an approximation of our exchange:

M: that would be me, your friendly reference librarian
SW: a student worker who tried to be helpful
PM: patron mofo
E: circ staffer/night supervisory guy & my husband

( SW: Where are the dissertations and theses kept? )

To make a long story short (TOO LATE! [/Clue]), the title wasn't up there. But PM kept asserting that it must be housed in some other area, b/c HE'D looked at EVERY title up there, and NONE of them said dissertation, they ALL said thesis. *ppppttt* And he talked to me like I had no idea what I was talking about AT ALL, despite the fact that I've worked here 5 years, and that I have worked in libraries for the last 10 years. I *think* I know how this collection is arranged, and how to read call numbers.

But, you know, if he KEPT saying "It's not up there, it must be housed somewhere else," it would be like a magic spell, and SUDDENLY I'd remember that we keep them in a special hidey-hole to protect them from less intelligent people. :P

Current Location: Ref Desk | Uni Library | ULM
Current Music: Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth w/ Money in My Hand | Primitive Radio Gods

I am not:

1. All knowing. If you desrcibe the book as The one with the girl who is suicidal, I have no fucking clue which one that is. I can think of at least 7 books like that off the top of my head.

2. A baby sitter. It is not okay to let your children run wild all over the place and then give me dirty looks when I ask you to please keep an eye on them. Also, I will not watch your baby while you run out to your car. Seriously, I've been asked this at least 3 times in the 2 years I've been here.

3. A mind reader. When I ask if there is something I can help you with, if you just stay silent and stare blankly at me, I don't know what the hell you want. This also applies to the patrons who drop off the ends of their sentences.

4. A magician. I cannnot make something magically appear just for you. If I say we don't have any more laptops, then we don't have any more laptops. And no amount of whining or tantrum-throwing is going to change that.

5. Your best friend. Just because you can read my name tag and call me by my name, does not mean you will get special treatment. You will have to wait in line and follow the rules like everyone else. And no, I will not break the rules for you. Please to get over yourself.

Thanks,

femmephantom

Current Mood: irritated

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/CuteOverload/~3/344789433/the-amazing-rem.html

OK, for this next trick, you need to get a remote-control device.  TV, stereo, it doesn't really matter, as long as it has a really big button on it.  Go ahead, we'll wait. (elevator music, dum dee dum...)  Got it?  Now, incredible as this may sound, your remote control will let you switch off these otters' brains all at once.  Start the video, and get ready to push the really big button ... right ... about ...

(00:24) ... now.  Was that cool or what?!
Wait, we're gonna do it again.  On your mark ... get set ...

(00:36) ... click.

Wow, Philip K., that was totally (click) ...

... awesome.

 It was a dark and stormy afternoon.  The phone rings:

Me: XYZ Library, how may I help you?
Elderly Female Voice: I'm looking for information on Dr. So and So
Me: Ok, I'm looking him up on the state health providers website. 
Voice: He does root canals.
Me: An endodontist.
Voice: a wha?
Me: Endodontist
Voice: A wha?
Me: An endontist does root canals.
Voice: Endo-wha?
Me: Root canals. It's called an endodontist.
Voice: let me write that down. I have so much paper I can't find anything to write on....here, oh not that, let me see. I feel asleep watching tv, I don't know where I put it...OK, OK I got it. Endocrine...
Me: No endo-DONTIST
Voice: Ok, d-o-n....
Me: I have his listing...
Voice: Is he certified?
Me: Yes, he did his training at blah blah blah
Voice: That doesn't sound like an American name, So-and-so.
Me: I can't make any judgment as to his ethnicity.
Voice: That doesn't sound American, I'm going to look in the phone book and see if I recognize someone's name. I had some root canals years ago and they need to be redone. I tried calling 411 and I can't get through so I called the operator and she said my 411 isn't working and to try again tomorrow but that doesn't sound american so I'm going to go to someone else.  Thank you, dear.  (BANG!)

Current Mood: tired

I hate to stereotype...I'm just tired of the same groups of persnickety old women coming in here. They're regulars, they know our procedures. They just choose to ignore them. When I remind them they need to sign in, they can't just waltz in and take over a meeting space, they get huffy or say 'Oh really...?' with their overly plucked eyebrow raised. Yes really. Just like EVERY TIME you've ever been here. 

Then they act like they don't know how to use the sign in system and demand my assistance. Of course by the time I get over there, poof, oh look, it's all working fine. If it's still not working, it's because they are ignoring the instructions on the computer screen, then they ignore the instructions I verbally give them and complain 'See? It doesn't work.' When I encourage them to try it again and it works, then they make harrumphing noises. Please. Just please stop being so dang persnickety. 

Luckily a funny little girl just came in and told me that she was entirely too busy to hang out in the kids' area. She has work to do, must help her mother don't-you-know. She's making the persnickety-ness less awful. Thanks little girl!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/CuteOverload/~3/344693759/this-monkey-own.html

[sucking thumb + bamboo strand]

Here's the deal.

I'm a golden-haired, mini mohawk-sporting, teeny-nostrilled monkeh.

And I own your soul. all of it! All. FYI.

Ooh-ooh-ah-ah, Sparkling T.!

I'm trying to come up with a clever way to say that I have nothing to say. I thought about doing a blog that mimicked the form of an email away message. (I'm away from my blog right now....) But the concept lacked punch. I thought about a terse note of the "gone fishing" sort. That didn't seem right, either. I even considered going with he truth. I'm on vacation and just don't feel like blogging, even though I'll be consumed by guilt at the thought of disappointing the two or three readers who expect a steady output. Besides, the truth is no fun. I guess I'll just have to admit that I have no clever way of saying that I don't feel like blogging this week.

Favorite t-shirts spotted this week:

Let the Wookie win.

I'm no longer with stupid.

EVERY TIME YOU POST WITH CAP LOCKS ON,
ee cummings kills a kitten.

Also, lots of people have asked about what's happening with the AGATB movie. So here's your answer: not so much yet.

The script is being hammered out. That's where things stand. So, just to clarify: There has been no casting, no production start date, no secret Hollywood cabal meetings (or none that I was invited to and asked to bring snacks). As soon as I hear anything more, I'll post it. Promise.

And now, back to BOVINE. Five more days of deadline. And I've promised myself if I work hard today, I will go see DARK KNIGHT as my reward and I will mix the M&M's into the popcorn.

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Carmensita/Devendra Banhart

From the Class of 2k8: "Liz Gallagher grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia and was an English major at Penn State. She worked on the editorial staff of Highlights for Children. She is a graduate of the University of Denver Publishing Institute and the Vermont College MFA program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. Her home in Seattle is within chomping distance of the Fremont Troll." Learn more here.

What kind of teenager were you?

I was the kind who has friends across different groups, but isn't really part of any one clique. I loved to go bowling and shopping (still do!). I was New Kids on the Block's biggest fan. I played softball. I watched way too much TV, but now I think that experience prepped me for the pop-culture prowess that I enjoy today. I know that I read a lot as a kid and teenager, but I can't remember exactly what I read except for Kurt Vonnegut, late in high school.

Could you tell us about your apprenticeship as a writer?

I've been so lucky. I'd have to say that my apprenticeship started with my amazing kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Niccolo; she taught me to love writing. At Penn State, I took three fiction workshops with the same professor; that's the point at which I started reading like a writer. Later, I worked at Highlights for Children as part of the editorial team; reading submissions helped me think more critically about writing. Then, I went to Vermont College and got to work with Lisa Jahn-Clough, Ron Koertge, M.T. Anderson (author interview), some lady named Cynthia Leitich Smith, and the rest of the faculty there; that's where I gained the power to believe in myself as a writer.

I had the honor of being one of your advisors at the Vermont College MFA program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. Why did you decide to get an MFA? How would you describe the experience?

And I had the honor of being one of your students! I thought, correctly, that being in an MFA program would give me permission--in my own mind--to prioritize writing. I wanted the structure and the feedback.

I was led to Vermont after falling head over heels for Feed (Candlewick, 2004) by M. T. Anderson and finding out that he was faculty head at Vermont. Then it seemed as if every book I was reading and enjoying was written by a faculty member or grad of the program, so it was a no-brainer to apply.

I would describe the experience as school that doesn't feel like school because it's so much fun and you get to read and talk about reading and write and talk about writing. I learned from all of the faculty and from many of the other students, and I grew so much as a writer.

Could you tell us about your path to publication? Any sprints or stumbles along the way?

It wasn't very stumbly, actually. I think I managed to meet great mentors along the way, so that when I was ready to submit my manuscript, it went smoothly. Lara Zeises (author interview) has become a close friend and she's the one who guided me through the submission process.

We're both students of Lisa's (me at Vermont; Lara at Emerson). Toward the end of my time at Vermont, I started submitting to agents. Rosemary Stimola (agent interview) signed me right before graduation, and I think it only took her two weeks to sell Opposite to Wendy Lamb [Wendy Lamb Books at Random House]; I'd call that a sprint.

Congratulations on the release of your debut novel, The Opposite of Invisible (Wendy Lamb, 2008)! Could you tell us a bit about it?

Thank you! I wrote most of it during the Vermont program. It's set in Seattle--I live here and it's my love letter to the city. It's about a fifteen-year-old girl, Alice, who's coming out of the cocoon she's (metaphorically) lived in with her best friend, an artist boy named Jewel. Her world is getting bigger as she makes new friends and tries new directions in art. She's figuring out the difference between a crush and love, and love and best friendship.

What was your initial inspiration for writing this book?

I love Halloween time and wanted to set a story then. While walking past a big junk shop in Fremont (the neighborhood of the book, and the one where I live now, though I didn't at the time), I realized that it was the perfect setting for a Halloween story. The original first line--"It all started with this dress."--came to me on the page, and I just kept going.

What was the timeline between spark and publication, and what were the major events along the way?

I started writing this story as a short story for my first Vermont workshop, so that means I started writing in the late fall/early winter of 2005. It was published in January 2008.

The whole ride seems like a major event! Having feedback from Lisa, Ron, Tobin, and then you, Cyn, was always amazing. My first rejection from an agent, over the phone, was a major event; it was disappointing but I knew that even getting a phone call was a big step forward.

Once sold, I've loved attending ALA conferences and meeting librarians. I've also enjoyed meeting lots of Seattle's booksellers. And I became a member of The Class of 2k8 (co-presidents' interview)--I get to celebrate 27 releases this year, not just my own!

Actually, seeing Vermont friends' books come out while waiting on my own -- especially Sarah Aronson's Head Case (Roaring Brook, 2007)(author interview) and Carrie Jones' (Flux, 2007)(Tips on Having a Gay (Ex) Boyfriend (Flux, 2007)(author interview) and Love (and Other Uses for Duct Tape)(Flux, 2008), and Zu Vincent's The Lucky Place (Front Street, 2008)--has been so wonderful.

Early on, Vermont grad Andy Auseon was a big role model for me. I love his Funny Little Monkey (Harcourt, 2005), and I think he has another one coming out soon [Jo-Jo and the Fiendish Lot (HarperCollins, 2009)].

What were the challenges (literary, research, psychological, and logistical) in bringing it to life?

A lot of my roadblocks are psychological. I'm the type of writer who can type and type but not be sure what I'm saying. I need someone who I trust to reflect it back to me--to say, this is what you've got on the page. I'm much more talented with character and voice than I am with plot. So it takes a lot for me to feel as if I've succeeded in making something happen in the narrative and seem like it isn't too mechanical or forced.

Logistically, having deadlines for Vermont really helped me. The whole "butt-in-chair" thing can be hard for me when I'm only beholden to myself.

What has surprised you most about being a published author?

That I'm still just me! I honestly forget that I'm a published author sometimes. It's a dream come true and I love it and I'm proud, but on a day to day basis, I'm just Liz. I don't feel any different--which I see as proof that a writer is a writer, published or not.

It also surprises me how often people who aren't in the YA book world ask why I write for teenagers, as opposed to adults.

If you could go back and talk to yourself when you were beginning writer, what advice would you offer?

Read a lot across genres. Read constantly! Keep a notebook for ideas that hit you add odd times. I still need to start on the notebook one.

What do you do when you're not in the book world?

I used to work at a Montessori school. For the past year, I've been freelancing for magazines (mostly Seattle magazine) and a web site called Red Tricycle. I also worked on writing with seventh graders this year through Seattle Arts and Lectures' Writers in the Schools program. Now, I have a full-time job as a product copywriter, writing about shoes all day. I still write and edit for Red Tricycle. I watch a lot of reality TV, ride my Vespa, go out to brunch, read, and hang out in coffee shops. Sometimes, I knit.

What can your fans look forward to next?

I'm working on a companion to Opposite. Then I hope to get back to work on the manuscript that I started during our semester together, Cyn. It's the story of a girl who's dealing with the tragic death of her best friend, an artist who pushed everything to the edge until he fell off.

Cynsational Notes

Visit Liz Gallagher's official site, read her LJ, and visit Liz at MySpace!